New digs, same old desecration …

After a considerable soul searching and tears, we have decided it’s only right to hold our 18th annual Desecrate the Tree party this year despite Evel Knievel’s recent demise.

Evel would have wanted it that way.

So while our tree won’t jump the Snake River Canyon or the shark, we promise it will feature all the excitement and death-defying tinsel you’ve come to know and love. And as an added bonus this year, we’ll be holding the party in our stately new digs.

Here’s the official invite.

Who: The Benz and Edge’s

What: Our 18th annual Christmas tree desecration party, in which assorted stooges put homemade, stupendously cool decorations on our unsuspecting evergreen. We have only one rule: You CAN’T buy the decoration. It’s gotta be homemade. Also, remember that children and vegetarians are invited to the party. Ornaments should be rated “G” or “PG.” Sara Schwabe’s Yankee Jass Band will once again amaze and astound us with musical feats of derring-do.

Where: 2035 Hidden Cove Lane. Pellissippi to Northshore exit. West on Northshore. Left at first stop sign. Through flashing yellow light. Left at next stop sign onto Early Road. Hidden Cove is the third road on the right. There’s a lighted Hidden Cove sign that you can’t miss. We’re on the left, at 2035.

Map

Lost? Call 288-0496 or 604-7731.

Important: No valet parking this year, but we ask that you be respectful of our neighbors and don’t block driveways, etc., on Hidden Cove Lane. Our driveway is steep and creepy. Don’t drive down into it. If Evel couldn’t handle the Snake River Canyon, you’re not ready for our driveway. Park up on the street and walk down.

When: Saturday, Dec. 15 at 7 p.m. Children and vegetarians are welcome.

Why: Why not, wise guy?

How: Make your own decoration. We’ll have beer, Spiney’s infamous margaritas, non-alcoholic beverages and vats of steaming green chile. Extra beverages and/or food will be welcome but aren’t required.

Viva Knievel!