Category: Bad Bob

Is LBJ’s safe return. The president is on the lam, and Dave is pleading for his return. recently, I received the following note, along with a small figurine of President Lincoln:

LBJ is MIA.

After running amok at our Christmas bash, LBJ left with several unsavory characters to terrorize the fine citizens of Tennessee, who have little use for liberal Democrats and the Great Society.

He hasn’t been heard from since, though we do of several people in North Knoxville being blinded when LBJ showed them his scar.

If you have seen LBJ or might know his whereabouts, please let us know ASAP. There’s a young man in Virginia who is completely despondent over the disappearance of our 36th president. Apparently, wee Davey just keeps muttering something about a Christmas with out LBJ not being Christmas at all.

So if you see our little red LBJ, won’t you please, please send him home?

I see that PETA is trying to make hay over the mad cow problem. Their approach is almost hilarious. Seems they want to assure us that if we just quit eating meat, our food supply would be warm and fuzzy safe.

Here’s the bad news: More people have died in the U.S. during the past year eating vegetables, green onions, specifically, than have died of mad cow disease. Tennessee and Pittsburgh both have had nasty hepatitis outbreaks linked to bad veggies.

Guess that wouldn’t make good copy for PETA’s propaganda …

In the meantime, I’ll keep nibbling on cows and chickens and pigs.