Category: Sitcom Christmas

Sitcom: That Girl

Episode: Christmas and the Hard Luck Kid

Year: 1966

Story line: Ann recalls when she spent Christmas with a lonely boy.

Details: We start with Ann the ever-struggling actress playing a Christmas elf at a shopping mall. But this isn’t David Sedaris playing Crumpet the Christmas elf. This is Marlo Thomas, vaguely hot but squeaky clean and oozing goodness and good cheer. She flashes back to a Christmas three years earlier, when she was teaching at a boys’ school and stayed behind to be with Tommy Phillips, who was destined to spend the holiday alone at school. Ann does what Ann does and in her goofy way manages to place Tommy with a local family for the holiday. It isn’t till after the fact that she realizes the family is Jewish …

Killer quote: “Jewish people don’t have a tree, and they don’t celebrate Christmas.” Tommy, after returning to school from the Greene’s home and informing Ann that it wasn’t Christmas they were celebrating.

Ebenezer alert: The insurance company, which won’t let Ann take Tommy to her father’s house for the holiday because it’s too far away. Even then, insurance companies sucked.

Childhood memory: I’m not sure why, but I remember this one vividly. I’m pretty sure I first saw it in reruns and I think I was home sick as Christmas approached. The scene the really struck me was where they were playing basketball in an empty gym. For some reason, I thought that would be really cool. Maybe it’s the beginning of my fascination with end-of-the-world movies, where no one is around and you have everything to yourself — highways, stores, even gymnasiums.

Sitcom Christmas Index

Sitcom: The Partridge Family

Episode: Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa

Year: 1971

Story line: At Christmas, the bus breaks down in a ghost town.

Details: This one sucked as badly as the Monkees special. I knew we were in for trouble when it was revealed that this was a Brian Foster episode. Everyone knows the only true Chris is Jeremy Gelbwaks. There can be only one. Susan Dey is amazing though. Simply amazingly gorgeous. And Danny Bonaduce gets through the entire episode without beating up any transvestites. So surely this has some redeeming value. In short, the bus breaks down in a ghost town. We meet prospector Charlie and his mule, Ella. Charlie tells a story of Wild West Christmas days with Partridge Family members playing key parts in the flashback. In the end, the bus gets fixed and those wacky Partridges belt out a version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas that brings a tear to hardscrabble Charlie’s eye. How nice.

Killer quote: “If you have to give to receive then forget it. I mean, where is the profit?” Ruben Kincaid in his flashback role as Mean Sidney.

Ebenezer alert: Ruben freakin’ Kincaid. In spades, dude. He even plays Mean Sidney in the Wild West flashback. That Ruben is bad news, though I could never understand his “stud” reputation in the show. He just seemed so dang oily.

Childhood memory: Again, no specific memory of this episode, but it was right up there with the Monkees on the list of cool stuff when I was a kid. When we played Partridge Family (yes, I’m ashamed to admit we did that), I was Danny, cousin John was Keith and brother Steve was Chris. Come on now there’s a song that we’re singin’ …

Sitcom Christmas Index

Sitcom: The Monkees

Episode: The Christmas Show

Year: 1967

Story line: The boys teach a cynical lad the meaning of Christmas.

Details: Straight up, this sucked. Totally sucked. Not even mildly amusing. Lots of not-very-good slapstick and an extended slow motion sequence toward the end where you get the feeling they were out of ideas, had time to fill and used slow motion to make the most of it. There’s also an odd coda where the cast comes out and walks around on the set and then the Monkees sing a version of the 16th century Spanish carol Riu Chiu that’s actually pretty nice. In short, the Monkees get stuck baby-sitting a cynical little rich brat named Melvin. We learn that he’s been given everything … but love. I guess love is all you need. Where have we heard that before … One interesting aside: Melvin morphs into a computer in several spots, when he’s being particularly cold and heartless. Harkens back to the Beverly Hillbillies episode that Tivo mistakenly grabbed instead of the Christmas episode. I still find it interesting to note how freaked out people were by computers …

Killer quote: “Boy, this kid needs some lessons on Christmas.” Peter Tork after an encounter with Melvin. Yup. That’s the best quote I could glean from this mess, though there was one spot where the Monkees did a need vamp on the word “gay” in “Don we now our gay apparel.”

Ebenezer alert: Melvin, the precocious kid the Monkees are baby-sitting. Melvin, by the way, was played by Butch Patrick of Eddie Munster fame. I knew he looked familiar but didn’t realize who he was until the credits rolled.

Childhood memory: I have no recollection of this episode, but I loved the Monkees as a kid. I remember playing Monkees with my cousin John, strumming brooms in his basement and falling all over each other in slapstick bliss.

Sitcom Christmas Index